Monday, April 20, 2009

Ultimate Break Up Movies

A month or so ago I split from my boyfriend of almost four years. (That's right, folks. Becky is single. Begin the man rush!) It was amicable and mutual, lacking most of the psychological drama that many break-ups entail but it was still hard to see such a large part of my life end. As usual in such situations, I turned to movies to help pull me out of my self-pitying cycle. So I thought I'd share my favorite break up movies for those going through the same fun time in their lives.

There is of course some criteria to determine which movies to watch.

1. Avoid anything that will remind you of the ex, like the movie you saw on your first date or the DVD he or she got you for your birthday, etc.

2. For the love of all that is good and holy, keep at least ninety miles away from anything written by Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters or Nora Ephron. These love stories about overcoming all odds will only depress you or give you false hope.

3. As a matter of fact, keep away from traditional love stories in general. Especially rom-coms. It will only damage your already fragile state of mind.

4. It's always fun if they're movies the ex didn't like. Right now I'm tending towards the cult movies like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Psycho Beach Party or Cry-Baby because they're something I love-with-a-capital-L that my ex really didn't get at all. It's fun to relish in something you know they wouldn't have done with you. Also listening to that band that they hate (mine's Of Montreal) and eating that comfort food you were too embarrassed to eat in front of them (crab rangoons!) is liberating.

5. Serious dramas are best avoided unless you think watching someone else suffer will make you realize that you don't have it so bad. They're only for the brave.

6. If at all possible, make sure the movie includes a particularly sexy member of whichever sex you happen to fancy. Bonus points if there's a good sex scene.

So with those ground rules being set, let's talk specifics...

8. Cry-Baby (1990)

As previously mentioned, I LOVE a cult movie, especially one by John Waters. As an avid musical lover, it is just too much fun to watch the swoonworthy Johnny Depp (be still my heart) and company poke fun at them. I love all of the Grease references and the music is actually pretty darn good (yes, I have the soundtrack). Chalk this one up to silly campy fun.

7. Friday the 13th (1980)

I like a little gore in my cheer up movies, especially if it involves killing off sexually active teens. Makes me feel a little better about my own predicament. Really I would put almost any slasher flick here, but I have a special place in my heart for Friday the 13th. I sympathize with Mrs. Vorhees more than is probably healthy. She's a woman out there on her own doing what she needs to do to get her little boy some vengence. Who can't identify with that? It's always fun to be scared when you're feeling down. It gets your adrenaline pumping and makes you feel more alive.

6. Bridget Jones Diary (2001)
I know, I know it seems like I'm breaking my own rules with this rom-com but
hear me out. This is not a traditional love story. Bridget, our delightfully chubb
y (by Hollywood's standards anyway), loveable and relatable heroine, doesn't end up with the man that she wants (the ever sexy Hugh Grant, I know he plays the same character in every movie but God is he good at it). She has to end that relationship to be with the right guy for her (Colin Firth, one of the many unrequited loves of my life). So (follow me on this one) your relationship might have ended for a reason, maybe to open you up for an even better one.

5. America's Sweethearts (2001)
This one follows a similar line of reasoning as Bridget Jones (two people who want to be together shouldn't be so a new relationship can develop) and has the added bonus of a hilarious Billy Crystal. John Cusack plays his usual goofy neurotic self. I love this movie, even if it does include Julia Roberts (not my favorite). Hank Azaria makes one of my favorite cameos of all time as Catherine Zeta Jones's philandering boyfriend. Plus for any fellow movie lovers out there (and I have to assume that you are, otherwise why would you be reading this?) it paints a very realistic picture of the movie business as we rarely see it.

4. The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
There's really nothing better than a zombie movie to make you forget any troubles you may have, romantic or otherwise. For starters any time a character screams "BRAIIIIIIIIIINSSSSSSSS" in a film, I'm sold. This movie is just so delightfully silly and gory you can't help but love it. Also there's the added bonus of Freddy trying to eat his girlfriend, which is bad press for relationships if ever I've seen it.

3. Dead and Breakfast (2004)
If a bloody and gory zombie movie
with a hillbilly guitarist, David Carradine, and a "Thriller" dance sequence doesn't make you smile then you don't need a movie, you need Prozac. Also the scene whereDavid (Erik Palladino) kills
girlfriend Kate (Bianca Lawson) is
thoroughly cathartic. Make
sure to note how much of a badass
chick Ever Carradine is.

2. Young Frankenstein (1974)
Really you could put almost any Mel Brooks & Gene Wilder film in here but this just happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time. It's just so delightfully and knowingly silly. This movie can get me out of a bad mood even if my puppy just died. I love all of the sexual inuendos and the dance number is a classic scene for a reason. I highly suggest, if not this movie, then something this silly for any of those who need a pick-me-up. It's better than any amti-depressent I've ever heard of.

1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

This one helped me to get out of my own recent break-up funk and I show it to all of my friends who are going through the same thing. This movie follows the hilariously awkward and adorable Peter (Jason Segal, my favorite celebrity crush, he's like a giant teddy bear) through his own painful break-up. I return again to the theme of a movie showing a relationship fail for a reason. This
movie is so true to life (even with a movie star being the ex) that you'll cringe, cry and laugh uproariously and feel like you're not the only one out there who feels that way. Plus any movie silly enough to have a male full-frontal scene and a puppet musical (both of which apparently come from Segal's own life experiences) is sure to make you smile.

Well, I hope that helps someone out there! If you have any other suggestions that I missed let me know.